January 11th

Once again I’ve found myself sitting in the warm tropical air of Thailand, but this time it’s not so enjoyable; it’s been a long day of mishaps, and right now I’d like to kill the pretty, nearly four-story-tall christmas tree twinkling outside the Bangkok International Airport, as it’s been repeatedly playing “Santa Clause Is Coming To Town” for the last four hours.

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Alright guys, I sacrificed two precious hours of beach time, but I’ve finally loaded the pics from the last day of the hike under Random Photos, “Shanhaiguan; the last day”.
Enjoy!.

Good afternoon, gentle readers; it is I, Adventure Turtle.

It is with the utmost respect that I bring you the latest news.

At 3:30 pm on November 26th, exactly six months to the day after starting, The Wallnuts completed their hike from Jiayuguan to Shanhaiguan.

They did not, however, complete it on their own.

The Wallnuts had nearly made it to the water’s edge when, without warning, both collapsed. 

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With the weather having been cold and gloomy these past few days,

(Rob and Marsh; photo shows a partially frozen stream under a gray sky.  Next to the stream on a dirt path is a cow pulling a wagon load of…erhm, big branches?)

The Ig and I thought we’d treat ourselves to a nice meal this evening.  We went to the seafood restaraunt in our hotel, where they informed us they had no menu.  Instead, we were led to an area where we foraged for our meal.  Tanks full of fish, oysters, clams, lobsters and other unidentifiable things were on display for the pickin’, and we were at a bit of a loss as to what to get. 

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Although The Ig and I stood in awe under this sign today,

(Rob and Marsh; photo shows a street sign declaring Shanhaiguan just 65k away)

it still hadn’t really sunk in that we’re a mere two days away from Shanhaiguan.  We’d planned on catching a bus to Qinhuangdao when we finished walking; a short day’s walk from where we left off and a short day’s walk to Shanhaiguan, it was perfectly situated. 

Before we could catch a bus, however, a police car pulled over.

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I was surprised to wake up this morning to find my hotel window squeaky clean with nary a splatter of bird poo on it.  Surely I couldn’t have been good enough this year to stay off the Thanksgiving Eagle’s little turd list.

What’s that?  Whaddaya mean you’ve never heard of the Thanksgiving Eagle?  I’m sure I explained the Thanksgiving Eagle last April after enlightening ya’ll about the Easter Warthog.  Oh for Shibble’s sake–the Easter Warthog, the one who flatuates under your bed and drools on yer pillow if you’ve been bad?  You know?

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Fengrun, clip 1…

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Unbelievable; we barely got any walking in today, but I was able to upload some pics, and now, one of the videos! Without further ado, here’s the Ig in Jixian. The city is actually pronounced “gee-shee-an,” but you know how we like to mangle things…

I’m takin’ the chance to upload some photos while I have it (already tried the videos, to no avail); The Ig and I spied a net cafe while strolling through this little town and ducked in here to get outta the cold.  It’s windy today with a high of 41, so we’re not too upset about being in here where it’s actually heated.

Starting with our walk outta Simatai, we have this lovely public service announcement board.  My favorite pic is the soldier stopping the man shooting birds on a wire with his rifle.

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That’s it; I’ve had it up to my ass with spending every spare moment running around trying to find a *censored* wang ba that’ll let me use their usb port.  People, I’ve already posted a photo of the Great Clown Paraphanalia factory–you have nothing left to hide, for Shibble’s sake.

It’s been the same in every city in Hebei; slogging from wang ba to *censored* wang ba, only to get the wave-off and a resounding, “May yo!”

Right now I’m in a usbless wang ba (the second one this evening) in Fengrun.  I don’t know where I’m at in Fengrun; I finally gave up walking and hopped a cab, which took me down enough side streets and jenky-ass alleys to ensure my whereabouts are unknown, even to me.  I cannot pronounce the name of my hotel, and even if I could, I’m sure I’d still get the tones wrong.  Should be a mini adventure finding my way back tonight.

We’re now five days away from Shanhaiguan; we saw the first sign today proclaiming it’s a mere 122k away (and only 115 after we’d finished today).  Ya’ll are gonna have yer work cut out for ya when we finish; Shibble knows how many photos and videos you’ll have to catch up on.  Grrrrrr…